Assistance

We become so accustomed to doing things on our own that it takes a lot to ask for assistance. Perhaps we feel it is a sign of weakness to ask for help. We do not want to bother someone. I have done this. I pride myself in being self-sufficient, doing things myself. Then I find myself stressed because I have taken on too many obligations and am not giving them the attention that they deserve. 

Or, I am irritated that no one has offered to assist me. This has occurred with housework prior to having guests. I will be cleaning while others in the house are doing their own thing. I think “Can you not see what needs to be done without being told? I am struggling and running out of time.” Yet, no one offers to help. 

Have I asked for help? Probably not. Perchance, they do not offer because I have turned down assistance in the past. Why should they offer when I always refuse? Maybe I have criticized them for how they did the task. In the end, I become agitated which makes them agitated. No one is happy, and the house still needs cleaned. 

I have learned to stop, take a moment then gently ask for assistance. They are more than happy to oblige when I present my request kindly. It relieves my stress, and it becomes a team effort. 

What is stopping you from asking for assistance? Whatever it is, get over it. We have not been put on this earth to function alone, to prosper alone. We are here to work together, support one another. We can still be independent yet become interdependent – building rich, productive relationships with other people. 

When you are struggling or overwhelmed, admit it. Then determine how someone or some bodies can help. Need help driving the kids to practice? Look around – there are other parents and caregivers who can assist. They all drove their own child to practice – ask someone. If one does not live close by, they would still gladly assist and perhaps you can help them one day. 

Do not wait until you are frustrated or burnt out. Ask for help in advance. Say, I am willing to take on this project however I may need help in completing it on time. Would you be willing to help or know someone who could? Set up a date and time, divide the work. 

If necessary, set boundaries. I can do this but within these parameters. Does that work for you? If not, let someone else take on the task. 

Most of all be honest with yourself and those around you. It is not claiming defeat. It is being realistic. Being honest with yourself and those around you reduces the stress that we have created by trying to do everything on our own. We each only have a certain amount of time in our day. Set your priorities and ask for help where appropriate. 

By allowing someone the opportunity to assist you, it gives them the opportunity to feel good. You can then pass it along helping someone else. And so on, and so on. Raj Jana, JavaPresse Coffee Company, talks about this concept in his article “If you want to Succeed, Be Willing to Accept Help From Others” (Inc. March 16, 2021). – “Receiving is not a sign of weakness. It is a step of strength that will support the flow of abundance in your life. We all need to give, and that means, at times, you must be the one willing to receive.” 

Next time that you have feeling overwhelmed, ask for assistance. Maybe you ask a friend, family member, colleague, coach – it does not matter. By working together, we all lead more successful and fulfilled lives.

#StrongerTogether #HelpSomeone #AskforAssistance #Successin2023 #LifeCoaching #VSMCoachingandConsulting #MaxwellCertifiedTeamMember