Labels

Be careful of labels.

Labels are all around us –optimistic, trustworthy, smart, motivated, beautiful, friendly.  When we hear words like that to describe us, we feel good about ourselves.  There are labels which have negative connotations – stupid, lazy, inflexible, close-minded, pessimistic, homely.  Labelling a person can harm their potential and create limiting beliefs where there were none.

Growing up, I was labelled “shy.”  To me, shy meant that I was uncomfortable when I met new people.  It also meant that I did not have much to say.  As I was continually called “shy,” I felt undervalued.  I viewed people who were more outgoing to be worthy of more – more friends, positions in school leadership, positions on sports teams.  As I was shy, I did not deserve the opportunities that my outgoing counterparts deserved and earned.

As I grew, both in age and maturity, I outgrew the limiting beliefs of being labelled “shy.”  I learned that having the respect of others was just as important if not more important than being liked by others.  I have learned to be confident in my “shyness.”  When I go to events or activities where I do not know anyone, I survey the room, select a person to befriend, approach them and take time to learn about them.  I do not feel that I must meet everyone in the room; my time is more valuable spent with one-to-one conversations.

I have also learned that being introverted or shy is not a negative, limiting perspective.  Introverted or extroverted is how we re-energize ourselves.  Introverts need time to themselves to regain energy and renewal.  Extroverts need to be around others to regain energy and renewal.

Looking back, I wonder how different my life would have been had I not been labelled “shy.”  Because of this awareness, I am careful not to put labels on others.  Labels are limiting.  If we have been given a positive label, we become afraid of losing that label.  Negative labels hold us back.  We start to believe that label and do not think that we deserve anything better.  Labels can be put in a box which we cannot leave.

Rather than label people, work to gain understanding.  It may require changing our perspective.  Look at people from different angles.  When we have better understanding, we learn to accept one another as we are – a human being, free to be ourselves because of our uniqueness. 

 

 

 

Garbage In, Garbage Out

Garbage In, Garbage Out - This saying comes from the fact that a computer can do only what it is programmed to do and is only as good as the data it receives and the instructions it is given. If there is a logical error in software, or if incorrect data are entered, the result will probably be either a wrong answer or a system crash.

This concept can also apply to our lives – what we put into our minds or our bodies, and who we spend time with can produce positive or negative results.  When we are intentional, what is Going In can positively impact our mindset and actions.  This results in positive results Going Out which leads to a more successful life.  Consider the following areas of your life.  Then determine if there are ways to adjust these areas to allow a growth mindset creating positive results.

What we are watching – There are many options for streaming movies and shows.  From sports to comedy to drama to TED Talks, the options are endless.  If none of your shows are broadening your viewpoint, consider ways to integrate shows to your list that will widen your perspective of the world and enrich your life.  Consider learning about another culture, learning a language, or a different viewpoint on a topic, all of these are available free on the Internet.

What we are listening to – Music and podcast selections, like streaming shows, are endless.  Consider listening to a few that can help your future successful self.  I recommend “The Quote of the Day Show” by Sean Croxton.  Each episode features a quote along with a 5-10 minute inspirational audio clip to encourage you to lead a more fulfilling life. 

What we are reading – Novels are great, and I have learned a lot from historical fiction.  If there is an area of your life that you would like to improve, find a non-fiction book to read.  A few favorites of mine are “The 15 Invaluable Laws of Growth” by John C. Maxwell, and “The 7 Laws of Highly Successful People” by Stephen R. Covey.  If you are a beginner to the growth mindset, each of these books are great starters.

Who we are around – We have heard the term “toxic” when referring to people.  Look at the people who surround you.  Consider if they are supportive of your dreams and goals, or whether they are trying to suppress you.  To have a positive, successful life, we need positivity around us.  When someone is not being supportive to you, take the courage to cut them from your life.  It may be difficult to take that step though you will be grateful once you have.

Evaluate your life and look at the quality of the garbage that is coming in.  Determine if you are being intentional with your growth, or if you are on autopilot.  When we are on autopilot, we continue to get the same results which can lead to an unfulfilled life.  By introducing growth habits into our lives, we move towards a more fulfilled, successful life. A life where we can bring value to others and inspire them to live their best life. 

A leadership coach can help with your journey to a more successful life.  Book a complimentary session today, www.meetwithvirginia.com.

#Success #SelfLeadeship #PersonalGrowth

 

New Beginnings

Spring is a beautiful time of the year.  Signs of new life and new beginnings are all around us – leaves are budding on trees, flowers are bursting through the ground, birds are lining their nests and laying eggs.  In North Carolina, the azaleas are in bloom, and neighbors are mowing their lawn.  Dead wood and leaves are being pruned from plants to make way for new blooms and new life.

Soon, I will be purchasing vegetable plants and annuals from a local nursery to brighten my yard.  I pull weeds, fertilize and mulch as necessary.  All of this is done in anticipation of how colorful my flower beds will look in the summer and fall.  I also enjoy fresh tomatoes, cucumbers, peppers, and sweet potatoes from my garden.  This time of renewal brings hope for new beginnings.

Let’s take inspiration from this season and use it as an opportunity to begin anew ourselves.  Whether it’s starting a new project, setting new goals, or letting go of old habits, let’s embrace the spirit of spring and make the most of this time of new beginnings.

Consider all aspects of your life – personal relationships, professional, spiritual, health and financial.  What obligations or habits are not serving you?  Perhaps it is time to weed and prune aspects that are no longer serving you.  If we do not change, we cannot grow.   When we grow, we can find happiness and contentment in all areas of our lives.

Use this season as a reminder to start fresh, set new goals and work towards becoming the best versions of ourselves.

#spring #newbeginnings #freshstart #inspirationS

Stuck

 

Have you ever felt stuck?  Not physically stuck, like your foot, or your vehicle are stuck in the mud, but mentally stuck.  You know that you have things to do however no matter what you do, you cannot bring yourself to do them.  There are deadlines to be made and connections to be made yet you just cannot bring yourself to do those tasks.

I experienced this recently.  I have a weekly schedule with deadlines, appointments, and goals to meet.  Yet, every time that I set my mind to tackle one of these items, I was stuck, unmotivated.  I did not make progress in any of the important tasks.  I would find myself scrolling social media, washing dishes in the middle of the day and other random tasks that were not moving me or my business closer to success.

As the weekend came, I totally stepped away from my desk and schedule leaving it all for a few days.  I weeded my flower beds, helped my parents, took a long bike ride with my husband, among other things.  As I was doing these “non-work” tasks and projects, I found myself brainstorming and clarifying the work projects that were holding me back.  On Sunday evening as I prepared my weekly schedule, I felt focused and ready to hit the ground running on Monday.

During my time away from work, I considered what to do when stuck mentally.  Here are strategies which I have used successfully:

·      Health check.  Consider your overall health - your vitals, eating habits, sleep habits, mental state.  Does anything seem off?  Is this greater than a mild roadblock or should you check in with a health provider?  Take note of any warning signs and act appropriately.

·         Brain Dump. Grab a sheet of paper, a journal and a writing utensil.  Set a timer for 2 minutes then write down whatever is on your mind.  If you want, start with a salutation, “Dear Self”, “Dear God”, “Good morning!” – this is for your information only, you set the rules.  You can make a list of blessings, tasks, random thoughts.  It is an opportunity to clear you mind and start fresh.  Doing a Brain Dump before going to bed can be helpful for a better night's sleep.

·         Take a Movement Break.  At times, we become stuck at our desks for hours without realizing how long we have been there.  Drop whatever you are doing and get moving!  I will take a walk outside to clear my mind and enjoy nature.  Another favorite is to do a quick workout; FitOn is a free fitness app with a variety of workout options including mediation, cardiovascular, yoga, strength and more.  This helps get the blood flowing and wakes the body up.

·         Set a timer.  Pick one of your tasks that you have been avoiding, set a timer for 30 minutes, and only focus on that project.  Challenge yourself to turn-off notifications from email or apps during the timeframe.  You will be impressed with how much you can accomplish in that 30 minutes when other distractions are eliminated.

·         Accountability.  Select a way to be held accountable for working on a project.  Perhaps, you tell a friend or colleague about your goal.  Ask them to check in with you and encourage you to complete that goal.  Hold yourself accountable by sharing the goal on Social Media.  Friends and followers can follow your progress, cheer you along the way then celebrate when the task is complete.

When you become stuck, show yourself grace.  We cannot be pushing hard all the time.  Acknowledge the roadblock and determine the best way to navigate through.   Consider how a self-leadership coach can help work through the obstacles and be an accountability partner for your journey.

Most importantly, do not give up.  Be resilient and push through the roadblocks.  You will be proud of yourself when you reach the other side.