Labels

Be careful of labels.

Labels are all around us –optimistic, trustworthy, smart, motivated, beautiful, friendly.  When we hear words like that to describe us, we feel good about ourselves.  There are labels which have negative connotations – stupid, lazy, inflexible, close-minded, pessimistic, homely.  Labelling a person can harm their potential and create limiting beliefs where there were none.

Growing up, I was labelled “shy.”  To me, shy meant that I was uncomfortable when I met new people.  It also meant that I did not have much to say.  As I was continually called “shy,” I felt undervalued.  I viewed people who were more outgoing to be worthy of more – more friends, positions in school leadership, positions on sports teams.  As I was shy, I did not deserve the opportunities that my outgoing counterparts deserved and earned.

As I grew, both in age and maturity, I outgrew the limiting beliefs of being labelled “shy.”  I learned that having the respect of others was just as important if not more important than being liked by others.  I have learned to be confident in my “shyness.”  When I go to events or activities where I do not know anyone, I survey the room, select a person to befriend, approach them and take time to learn about them.  I do not feel that I must meet everyone in the room; my time is more valuable spent with one-to-one conversations.

I have also learned that being introverted or shy is not a negative, limiting perspective.  Introverted or extroverted is how we re-energize ourselves.  Introverts need time to themselves to regain energy and renewal.  Extroverts need to be around others to regain energy and renewal.

Looking back, I wonder how different my life would have been had I not been labelled “shy.”  Because of this awareness, I am careful not to put labels on others.  Labels are limiting.  If we have been given a positive label, we become afraid of losing that label.  Negative labels hold us back.  We start to believe that label and do not think that we deserve anything better.  Labels can be put in a box which we cannot leave.

Rather than label people, work to gain understanding.  It may require changing our perspective.  Look at people from different angles.  When we have better understanding, we learn to accept one another as we are – a human being, free to be ourselves because of our uniqueness.